Wednesday, September 8, 2010

This is not a post, it's really just me bragging.

I really can't get away with calling this a post.  It's really more a commercial for things I like, so if you don't like that sort of thing you probably shouldn't read very far.  What makes matters worse, some of the things I'm going to wax poetic about, you can't have.  That's right, you can't have my husband, but maybe you can train yours.

My husband has been raising the bar quite high of late.  In fact, I don't think I've ever loved him so much as I did Monday evening, but it took him the whole day to get there.  Monday was Labor Day, so what better way to start it than by laboring in the yard.  There was a lot to do, too.  Not only did we have mulch that's been sitting in the garage since Christmas, but we had bushes growing up over the windows, and weeds... OH the weeds.  There were vines growing up the side of the house, briers (there was bleeding), and I swear some of them were starter trees. 

One was a maple, so I got out the shovel and tried to dig it up thinking I could transplant it to the back to hide the compost pile.  Of course the root was thicker than the tree, so I couldn't get through it with the shovel.  Not even when I stood on the shovel; and jumped! 

So lots of yard work was being done, and about half way through I realized I was really thirsty and a bit light headed so I went in for a drink, and sat down for a couple minutes then went back out to help.  About three minutes later I was back in and on the couch with more ice water feeling light headed.  And when my fabulous husband was weeding three feet from me on the other side of the window did he look at all put out that I was being a lazy bum?  No!  In fact when I came back out he was mulching away.  And when I apologized for being a lazy bum he was completely understanding and said he'd felt that way before when we were doing yard work too. 

I guess that just goes to show we're both wimpy computer nerds who make our living sitting down in air conditioning.  We were not made for yard work in Georgia in summer.  It's HOT.

So after we finished mulching (five bags left for touch ups) and showering (separately, I like cool showers after yard work) we were discussing appliances.  We need them.  We're getting a new house (well, new to us) and it doesn't come with appliances.  The lady who's selling it is taking her refrigerator and washer with her, and I don't blame her one whit, she has a NICE fridge.  And since our fridge occasionally sounds like a gray whale has taken up residence in our kitchen (Oooh! I have a story I should tell about that sometime) we decided we'd be nice and offer it to whoever buys/rents our house (if you want a freshly mulched house in Woodstock, GA talk to me).  So we decided to go to Lowe's to look at refrigerators and washers and the like.

Appliances are nice, I like appliances.  I do not like pushy sales-ladies who insert themselves into your conversation and start throwing numbers around.  There were model numbers, pricing numbers, capacity numbers, efficiency numbers, and all sorts of discount numbers.  She kept following us around, and it's not like the store wasn't busy.  It was LABOR DAY!  We first met her in the laundry section where she tried to sell us the washer and dryer on the end.  I know 20% off is a great deal, but I know a little about store placement.  The truly great deals are NEVER on the end cap.  It's true about grocery stores, and it's true about Lowe's. 

We thought we'd escaped when we told her we weren't planning on buying for at least a month.  We don't have the house yet, so we have no where to put them.  She said sure, they could store them until we need them (which is actually a nice service) and we went off to look at refrigerators.  We slipped in between rows of stainless steel and had no more than commented that one didn't have an ice maker in the door when she snuck up behind us and said that what we were looking for was the next isle over.  Again, the next isle over was on the main isle, where the most expensive refrigerators were on display.  I'm not saying they weren't pretty, I'm not saying we may not eventually buy a refrigerator from that row (though I don't think they we will, they were all french door styles with very limited freezer space) but she popped up to show us something we hadn't asked about.  Only when we wandered over to the really cheap old style refrigerators (freezer on top like my parents have) did she leave us alone.

And this is where the second great thing my husband did came in to play.  We were hiding in the refrigerators and he said, "So what do you want to do about the washer and dryer?" 

No, that wasn't the great thing.  The great thing is what came next.  I asked him if he thought we should get them from pushy lady (we were still hiding in the refrigerators) and he said, "Um, yeah.  She really tried to help." 

I looked at him incredulously, but was struck by his compassion.  He wanted to help out this annoying woman who'd followed us around for nearly 30 minutes, despite the fact that she'd reminded us that she works on commission (something I could have figured out from how desperate she was acting).  I would not have been so charitable.  She was not the first person to offer to help us, just the most persistent.  But my wonderful husband recognized that persistence should be rewarded (even when it is annoying) and that everyone's time is worth something, even when it's not the best way to spend it.

Long story short, we ended up not getting the washer and dryer because she couldn't find the right model number for the gas dryer, and then she started trying to up-sale us to the model number she had.  And then we went home and found a similar dryer that was a Maytag instead of a Whirlpool that got better reviews and wasn't even displayed in the store (if you have to special order it, that's always a good sign).  So we went across the street to Khols and this is where my husband became super human.

Now, first you must understand that he needed nothing from Khols.  He was only there for me, and I was trying to ACCESSORISE a dress I got not to long ago from Land's End on a really good sale.  So once we're in the store I make a beeline for the accessories.  It took me maybe three minutes into the store to pick out a scarf.  I want you to note that the scarf was the ONLY thing I bought Monday.  I picked up the scarf and browsed through the rest of accessories weaving in and out of handbags, commenting on this one or that one, occasionally picking one up to look at, then putting it down. 

After I was fairly sure I had seen every available handbag I moved on to the shoe department, which for some unknown reason Khols hides over in the middle of menswear, nowhere near the handbags.  Khols is the only department store I know, aside from maybe WalMart, that doesn't keep their handbags near their shoes.  In fact, there is a wall between the handbag and the shoe departments, and much weaving around racks of clothing was required to get there.  My fantastic husband kept up.  As I was agilely traversing the obstacle course of clothing racks I was reminded of our teenage hood.

To tell this story I'll have to give a bit of background.  My husband and I met at Chick-fil-A where we both worked when we were in high school (different schools) and long before we ever thought of dating we would often go to this nearby church playground with friends.  It was after dark, and we would go just to swing on the swings.  I don't know if we ever saw anyone else there, if we ever did I don't remember it, and I don't recall any sign posted that said this particular church playground was off limits to no good teenagers looking for a place to hang out after dark. 

We usually just swung on the swings and talked, but occasionally one of us would get adventurous and start exploring this large, sprawling, ill-lit playground.  Eventually it became a game where the person in the front would navigate a convoluted path as quickly as possible, trying to shake those following behind.  Well, walking through Khols, occasionally checking to see if my husband was keeping up, I realized it felt like I was playing follow-the-leader as a teenager with my husband following.  He was always there.  I never had to pause to let him catch up. 

So after Khols I looked to see if there was another shoe department available, and on to Famous Footwear.  Then on to PayLess.  My husband followed me through accessories and shoes at three different stores in less than an hour.  Commenting on the shoes I pointed out, never complaining, never getting left behind.  This feat of superhuman agility and patience has, I'm quite certain, never before been accomplished by man!

Well, nothing could surprise me after such a display of super human perseverance, yet when we got home he continued to surprise.  He grilled; hot dogs, bratwurst, and ribs; and all were cooked to perfection.  In fact, I don't believe his ribs have ever been so fall-off-the-bone perfect.  At this point I'm beginning to wonder whether he's been replaced by a robot, but he left the turkey out yesterday so I know he's still human.

I was going to write some more about other things I've found recently that are fantastic, but I've already written much more than I had planned.  I'll have to save my commercial for non-husband things for some other post.

So in summation:
Husband = Good Shopper = Grill Master --> Very Happy Me!

Yes Dad, I know this isn't a good equation, but it gets the point across.

You'll notice in this post that I tried to make the paragraphs a bit shorter.  You have Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half to thank for that.  You can add her to my list of good things.  I'm in the process of reading through all of her archives, and she had a post on what makes a good blog.  Apparently massive piles of text are bad and should be broken up into smaller paragraphs.  I'm not good at that, but I'm trying.  And hey, if I like big piles of text I should be free to have them!  It's MY blog!